HYGIENE: PART ONE

I only want one thing done before school starts tomorrow.  Only one.  I understand it's a big deal… but I feel I'm entitled to ask for it.  After all, I am the one with the career that is paying the tuition.  I am the one that purchased all the books and backpacks and laptops and calculators.  I have filled out applications so that my son can get anything he wants at the school cafeteria and book store.  I have perched on the computer like a nesting bird for an entire morning to make sure he was signed up for the bus before space ran out, and now, I have just one request.

I want him to cut his toenails.

And you know what?  I'm pretty sure it's not going to happen.  The same way I appear to have lost the "Please, you don't have to cut it , just SHAPE your hair" battle.  It's six-thirty the night before school.  It's Labor Day and I know there are no salons open. On the other hand, one does not need a salon to cut ones toenails.  One merely needs the toenail cutters from the drawer and a little incentive.

Like maybe a serious kick in the ass.  Because you know, I've had it.  My son has developed the personal hygiene of a fairly vigilant homeless person.

TO BE CONTINUED…