PROS AND CONS OF DEBATE

So this morning I'm staggering around, still asleep making coffee and feeding the two hundred pounds of dog we've managed to adopt and out of nowhere, my son mumbles something about going out for the debate team.

My initial response to this is for my heart to leap into my throat, to throw my arms around the dogs and yell "OH THANK YOU GOD HE'S INTERESTED IN SOMETHING THAT'S NOT ON X-BOX." 

But, no.  I'm smarter than that. 

I know that if I move too fast or show any actual excitement, he will back away from whatever he is interested in like it was writhing on the floor and rattling.  I look up. I tilt my head slightly.

"Hm," I say.  "Let me know how it goes."

I drop him off at the bus stop, race home and spend an hour looking up articles in the school newspaper about the debate team.  The debate team is good!!!  They win a lot!! It's incredible preparation for both researching and public speaking!!  I Google "Middle School Debate Questions."  I momentarily consider e-mailing the dean, (posing as my son, of course,) and asking what the try-outs entail. 

During a break at work I start to think about the question upon which they've been asked to speak.  "Does Wikipedia do more Harm than Good?"  I come up with some captivating opening remarks on the subject.  I write them down, thinking maybe I can casually drop a couple of these gems during dinner and nudge him in the right direction.   

I order a sandwich and sit down at my desk to learn the rules of debate. Forget my actual job.  That's a drag.  I need to find out how one persuades an audience that their argument is the correct one.  That their reasoning is flawless.  Convinces judges that theirs is the side of truth and righteousness

And then it occurs to me. Do I want my son to have this ability? 

Huh.  I mean, the concept of "debate" is such an educational Ivy League kind of thing that I just jumped in and started pushing for it. But let's think about this.  Why the hell would I want my kid to learn how to argue? Why would I want to live in a house with someone who deals only with absolute and irrefutable logic?

"Time for bed!"  

"Oh, Mom.  You silly thing.  In 1997 the Brookheim Institute of Teenage Sleep proved that I actually get more rest if I nod off at the computer while playing violent games." 

"I said, go to bed."

"I'm sorry… 'I said??'… Is that supposed to be an argument?"

"I don't need to argue.  I am your mother."

"Again, I must point out to you that your title is not a rational defense."

This could be a real problem. 

Okay, well now I'm praying that he fails the try-outs.  My mind wanders and I begin to picture the debate room.  I can almost smell it.  I see the judges.  The nervous kids. The moderator smiles sincerely.  He turns to my thirteen year old who stands at a lectern.  He speaks. "The question we will explore today is: Does Wikipedia do more harm than good?" My son looks at him thoughtfully.  His mouth opens.

"What?"

"Wikipedia."

"What about it?"

"Does it do more harm than good?"

"When?"

"When people use it.  In general, does it do more harm than good?"

"I guess."

It's possible I don't have anything to worry about.

Rae